Unveiling the Power of Personal Presence: 3 Pillars and 5 Qualities for Being Seen, Heard, Acknowledged, and Valued
- Jane Hundley
- Mar 27
- 3 min read
Have you ever met someone who didn’t have to say much, but their presence filled the room? Or someone who made you feel truly heard, like you mattered? That’s personal presence. It’s not about being the loudest voice or the most polished person—it’s about showing up authentically and connecting with others from a grounded, meaningful place.
In my work as a leadership psychologist and holistic coach, I’ve found that five core qualities create this kind of presence. And the good news? They’re not traits you’re either born with or not. They’re practices. They can be cultivated.
Let’s explore each one.
1. Clarity – Who Are You Without the Masks?
Clarity is the first step toward presence. It means knowing who you are at your core—and letting that truth shine through.
We all play roles in life: leader, peer, partner, parent, friend. But over time, we can start mistaking those roles for our real identity. Clarity invites us to peel back the layers and ask, “Who am I when no one is watching?”
Try this: Take a quiet moment and imagine wiping fog from a mirror. What do you see more clearly when the surface is clean? That’s what clarity feels like—seeing your true self, free from old stories or expectations.
2. Communication – Listening Is an Act of Presence
You can’t have meaningful relationships without communication—but here’s the twist: real communication begins with listening.
Not just nodding along, not waiting for your turn to speak—but truly being present with someone. Picking up on the emotion behind their words. Noticing what isn’t being said.
Think about this: Have you ever opened up to someone and felt like they really got you? That’s not just good listening. That’s presence. And it’s something we can all learn and practice, even if we’ve struggled with it in the past.
3. Confidence – Liking Yourself, Even Around Others
Confidence isn’t always about being bold. It’s about being at ease in your own skin, especially when you’re around other people.
One way to build confidence is by remembering times when you’ve felt good about yourself in a group setting. These positive memories anchor your self-worth and remind you of your inner strength.
Even more important is that OTHER people need to LIKE THEMSELVES when they are around you. They like you if they like themselves when being influenced by you.
Helpful tip: Try writing down three times you felt self-aware but not self-conscious about how you showed up—maybe at work, at a family gathering, or even during a tough conversation. Revisit these memories from time to time. They are stepping stones toward greater self-belief and confidence, especially when you are under pressure.
4. Credibility – Living in Line with Your Values
Credibility is what people feel when your actions match your words. It’s when you live your values out loud—and others can count on you to be consistent and true.
It starts with knowing your values. What matters most to you? Integrity? Compassion? Curiosity? Fairness? Teamwork? Empathy? Success? Achievement?
Quick exercise: Write down your top three personal values. Then ask: Do my choices reflect these? Do others experience me this way? If the answer isn’t always yes, that’s okay. It’s a chance to realign and strengthen your presence.
5. Caring – The Heart of Presence
Caring is the most visible part of the presence and maybe the most powerful. This shows when you reach the right balance between strength and warmth for the situation. When we care from a place of authenticity, without needing recognition or reward, it nourishes everyone involved.
But here’s the challenge: over-caring is real. Empaths and highly sensitive people often take on others’ emotions so deeply that it can become overwhelming. The key is finding balance—being open-hearted while also taking care of your own needs. You are also important and need to care for yourself in a way that you can make a stand and still stay connected to others in a meaningful way.
A question worth asking: How do I care for others in a way that also honors me? There’s no perfect answer but simply asking helps you navigate that balance with more awareness.
Final Reflection
Presence isn’t something you “achieve”—it’s something you practice. Bit by bit. Moment by moment. With clarity, communication, confidence, credibility, and caring, you begin to feel and present yourself more like you. And when that happens, others feel it too.
You become magnetic, poised, trustworthy, and deeply human. That’s the power of personal presence.
Let's talk about it. Join me for an assessment of your skills in Presence. Book at time here:
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